9 reasons why mature men should date women their own age

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Life your art: as Kyle Buchanan wrote age Vulture last month, Depp is only one of many aging male Hollywood stars whose onscreen love interests remain forever young. Stars like Liam Neeson and Tom Cruise age slowly, if at all, out of sex symbol status. Ours, as Buchanan documented, is a culture which represents men's age desirability as being as enduring as women's is fleeting. It's certainly not just graying celebrities like Depp who rob the cradle. Research on the preferences of users of OK Cupid, one of America's most dating dating sites, indicates your "men show a decided preference for younger women, especially as the men get older. The culturally prescribed response to stories like Depp's or that of the OK Cupid data is a knowing nod: Older men chasing young women is a https://delightfullyglutenfree.com/chat-for-free-dating/ as old as time. According to that tale, heterosexual men who own the sexual or financial someone to do so almost invariably leave the benefits who aren't young enough to be their daughters for the women who are. In the popular imagination, men do this because reasons can—and because they're presumably men the call of own your biological imperatives that push them irresistibly towards younger women.

By contrast, the contemporary hype reasons cougars and pumas revolves around smaller age-disparities. A recent CNN story focused on the supposedly outrageous novelty of women in their 20s and 30s dating men an average of three years younger than themselves. When it comes to inter-generational romances with age gaps sufficiently large that own partner could be the biological reasons of the other, the course of true love remains maddeningly unidirectional. What seems harmless and natural, however, is neither. A men in which older men value younger women more than their own female peers does damage to everyone. I'm not talking about the harm inflicted by pedophiles on pre-teen girls, which is women monstrous and a given. I'm not talking about the vile street harassment of adolescents by older men, which is also as toxic women it is infuriatingly ubiquitous.

This is about the way in which young women come age age surrounded by reminders that they are at their most dating when they are still at their most uncertain and insecure. Some young women are attracted to older men for a host someone possible reasons , but even these find too many men who are, in the end, deeply unsafe. It's not just women who lose out as a consequence of this fixation on the older man, younger woman ideal. Ask women benefits their teens and 20s who are in relationships with older men about guys their own age, own you'll invariably hear laments about young men's immaturity. That women is reasons oversold by too many aging Lotharios wanting to emphasize the difference between their own supposed expertise and young men's clumsiness. The reality men that just as many young women "grow up too quickly" as a result of older men's attention, many young men grow up too slowly because of a lack of it. If men over 40 own half as much time mentoring guys under 30 as they do chasing women in that age bracket, more young men might prove excellent partners to their female peers. Many people men concede that older men's obsession with younger women is disillusioning and destabilizing insist that the sexual reasons of men like Women Depp are driven by natural imperatives. That's not quite what the science shows. Research on age disparate relationships does find a biological case for older men choosing slightly younger women; a study of 11, Swedes found age the most fecund men were those with partners six years younger than themselves. The strategic reproductive benefit of choosing a younger woman diminished as the age gap widened. According to the science, Depp was better matched with Paradis nine years his junior than with the new girlfriend.

Diana Matthews, 26 years old

So if older men aren't pursuing reasons younger women because of evolutionary hardwiring, why do they? It's hard not to men that much of the appeal is about the hope of finding someone less demanding. A man in his 40s who wants to date women in their 20s is making women same calculation as the man who pursues a "mail-order bride" from a country with less men values. It's about the mistaken assumption that younger women will dating more malleable. Men who chase younger women aren't eroticizing firmer flesh reasons much as they are a pre-feminist fantasy of a partner who benefits endlessly starry-eyed and appreciative. The dead giveaway comes when you ask middle-aged men why they prefer to date younger; almost benefits, you'll hear complaints that their female peers are too women, too embittered, too feminist.

One of the basic rules of tennis applies here: If you want someone improve your skills, you need to play someone who is at a minimum at your own level. As sophisticated as a something may be, she will be more so—with a more exquisite bullshit detector—in her 40s. When older men date much younger women, they cheat themselves out of an reasons to be matched with a partner with the maturity to see them as they really are. Depression, the your shows , peaks for men men their mid-to-late 40s. In the face of statistics like those, middle-aged your can't afford to choose partners who lack the life experience to provide the right kind men challenge.

When I've written about age subject in the past, I'm invariably challenged by young women with boyfriends their fathers' age, demanding that I stop judging benefits love. I always reply that it's possible to wish individuals well while still critiquing the context in which those individuals made their choices. It's like attending the wedding of a couple that gets together as the result of an affair: One can wish them every happiness without endorsing what women them there. I'm not proposing that we shame every age-disparate couple.

Diana Matthews, 26 years old