Tag: murder elves

Drow headcanon, part 2: The law of “don’t get caught”

This is part two of a multi-part series exploring how I, Lise, see the drow of D&D. For more info, see part 1’s introduction, as well as “On making the drow less problematic.”

  1. Introduction + the banality of evil and social Darwinism
  2. The law of “don’t get caught” (you are here)
  3. The ultimate in “guess” culture
  4. Chosen ones
  5. Connoisseurs of sensual pleasures
  6. Sexual orientation
  7. Gender identity and trans-ness
  8. Yes, heat vision
  9. Drow language
  10. Consent in the matriarchy
  11. No one is born knowing their society is fucked
  12. Drow cuisine
  13. Etc etc

The law of “don’t get caught”

On the face of it, there are all kinds of laws in Menzoberranzan. I mentioned the Way of Lolth in my original post. And for most of those laws, the punishment for breaking them is death.

But truly, the only law is, “don’t get caught.”

Or at least: “don’t be caught while male.”

In canon, we see it mostly in regard to house warfare. Indeed, Homeland, the first Drizzt novel, starts with one house wiping out another.

It’s definitely illegal to attack other noble houses. But if you manage to wipe out everyone who would accuse you of the crime? Well, good job; you will be rewarded; your house will take their place, moving up the ladder of the nobility.

But more interestingly: the house you defeated will be treated as if it never existed. Mentioning it directly is no longer allowed. (Of course, as you’ll see in the next post, drow never speak about anything directly).

The law of “don’t get caught” doesn’t just excuse crime — it can erase all memory of it.

If you fail to eliminate the entire house, though? Well, then, your house gets taken down by all the other noble houses. Oops. Guess you shouldn’t have gotten caught.

All of this is canon, so far. But I think this applies to everything that could possibly be seen as a misdeed in Menzoberranzan — and that the severity of the punishment, if you’re discovered, depends on your status in the toxic matriarchy.

In the chapter “El’lar” of Bright Future, I apply this specifically to monogamy. (I have joked that in contrast to polyamory as “ethical non-monogamy,” drow have “non-ethical non-monogamy”). I think Mavash and Jorlan’s conversation explains this better than I could in essay form:

“Though it seems like surfacers place a great deal more importance on… monogamy? Is that the word? Than the drow do.”

“Fidelity not their strong point?”

Adding flourishes to his drawing, he considered how to explain it to her. “That would require putting more words to it than we actually do. The proverb — in many things, not just in coupling — is Jalbol velkyn zhah naubol. ‘Anything hidden is nothing.’ “

…

He relented first, diving back in for an explanation she would understand. “In practice, it means you may take as many lovers as you can get away with. It is only a problem if you are found out. And if you are found out, the punishment depends greatly on your gender and your status. It’s much more dangerous, as in all things, to be male and be too… generous with your affections.” He smiled at his final choice of words, satisfyingly vague.

Bright Future, chapter 13, El’lar

(Also I came up with that drow proverb and I’m rather proud of it. It expresses “don’t get caught” beautifully within the sorry Drow conlang we have).

Jorlan, in fact, has done quite a few things that would get him executed, or worse (it can always get worse in Menzoberranzan™️), if he was caught. They’re not completely secret, either. So maybe the better formulation is “don’t get caught by someone who matters.” As in this section, where Jarlaxle explains it all:

“Again, I refer you to your assassin friend and his clever set-up.” When that was met with blank stares, [Jarlaxle] made a gesture in Jorlan’s direction. “Or, as he’s known in Menzoberranzan, ‘The Widower.’” Jarlaxle made a smile that showed his teeth, pleased at this tidbit of information.

Jorlan bared his own teeth back.

…

Jarlaxle turned to Mavash, a guileless look plastered on his face. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, dear Mavash, but your lover has rather the reputation for… Hm. Let’s say many of his past lovers have turned up dead under suspicious circumstances? And it’s happened enough times that he’s gained a certain reputation, and a title to go with it — allegedly, of course; nothing can be proven.”

“Uh oh, Mavash,” Gaulir said, a gentle prod.

Jarlaxle tipped a hand towards Mavash. “But you know, of course, of the case of Ilvara Mizzrym.”

“That was all this lot’s doing.” Jorlan waved to encompass the group. “We ambushed them in the Upperdark. I certainly thought Ilvara’s victory was assured. And when it wasn’t…” He shrugged. “It wasn’t something I caused, but certainly, you of all people can’t blame me for making the best of the situation.”

“And did you really execute that ambush to the best of your abilities, Captain Duskryn? Nothing else you could have done to save your mistress or your lieutenants? The same ones who had already wronged you?”

Jorlan, staring down Jarlaxle, said only, “It was a consequence of the drow way of life. As were the other unfortunate deaths.”

“Oh, I think no one is mourning Aumaurae Tlabbar’s death, either, fear not,” Jarlaxle murmured.

Bright Future, chapter 31, “Ragar”

I mean, clearly Jarlaxle (possibly my favorite canon character; thanks, DM, for putting him in here ❤️) knows Jorlan’s history here (it’s safest to assume he knows everything, after all). But he’s not inclined to tell on Jorlan to anyone in power. And even if he did tell… publicly, he’s just the houseless male leader of a mercenary band. Who’s going to listen to him?

… which is futher complicated, given Jarlaxle’s real birthright (spoiler: he’s super secretly a Baenre, aka the most important House in the city). But if he wanted his family to act on this, he’d probably have to come up with a more public reason that his family knows about this, so as not to reveal his identity.

… so mostly I think he does this so that Jorlan owes him a favor, and so that Jorlan knows he owes a favor. As I know from my drow intrigue game — where we sigh every time we realize we have to deal with Jarlaxle — it’s very easy to end up owing him a lot of favors.

We don’t actually learn more about the “Aumaurae Tlabbar” situation within Bright Future — maybe in a sequel? — but I imagine it as a case where Jorlan was put in an impossible situation (which involved Bregan D’aerthe) and ended up on the hook for the deaths of not one, but two, of his lovers. So there’s also the factor here that Jarlaxle doesn’t want to implicate himself.

Isn’t this delightfully complicated, this dance? This intrigue is one of the things that makes the drow so interesting to me. I didn’t even have to go too far afield in my headcanoneering!

I’m switching around the order a bit. Next will be my discussion of “guess culture.” It seemed a better follow-up than what I had planned to discuss. Suffice it to say — this 👆overcomplicated dancing around the truth is so emblematic of the drow.

Fanfic Journal: “What Do You Hear In These Sounds,” chapter 2

(I wrote this chapter a while ago but forgot to write a fanfic journal for it. Oops).

Read chapter 2 here.

Chapter Summary

Fel’rekt gets the Bregan D’aerthe orientation, courtesy of Krebbyg Masq’il’yr, and immediately starts questioning everything he thought he knew about drow society.

Chapter Front Notes

Content warnings: (canon-typical) ableism, and some more internalized transphobia. Also implied/referenced sexual assault — which is pretty much gonna be a constant, because consent doesn’t exist for males in an evil matriarchy.

Chapter End Notes

I re-read the description of both Fel’rekt and Krebbyg in Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, and realized they are both described as being “young.” For the purposes of having them around in both 1338 DR (when this story begins) and 1492 DR (when WDDH is set), I’m going to generously interpret 200-250 years to be “young” in elf terms, especially in the context of “young to be Bregan D’aerthe lieutenants.” This whole ding-dang fic doesn’t work otherwise, so I hope you’ll excuse that broad interpretation.

I may have speedrun The Silent Blade before writing this chapter just to learn more about Rai-guy. Alas, I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know from the Forgotten Realms wiki or from reading Servant of the Shard. He’s really not a well developed character, and only appears in two books. So, uh, free real estate, I guess.

I borrowed the “hair-cutting ceremony” from biichan’s fic “the season it revives,” because I thought it was beautifully symbolic of what being in Bregan D’aerthe means.

I also want to say, re: Fel’rekt’s reaction to Tebrynn’s disability: he’s been raised in a culture that is obsessed with social Darwinism and eugenics. Fel’rekt has probably never even met a drow with a disability, because so many of them are killed. Tl;dr Fel’rekt is ableist because he doesn’t know better.

The next chapter is primarily Jarlaxle’s POV and is going to address Some Things That Happened in 1338 DR (i.e. during the events of Exile). I’ve leave you to do the math.

Featured image by Barby Dalbosco on Unsplash.

Fanfic Journal: “What Do You Hear in These Sounds,” chapter 1

Read chapter 1 here.

Fic summary

Fel’rekt Lafeen is a very good listener.

Or: how Fel’rekt joined Bregan D’aerthe, became an unlicensed therapist to some Very Sad Elf Boys, kissed a few of them, eventually became a lieutenant, and ended up slinging a gun in Waterdeep with everyone’s favorite pansexual disaster.

Introductory Notes

Listen, I know I have two unfinished longfic about sad drow boys being sad, and I haven’t forgotten them, but this story ambushed me in the dead of night. It combines a bunch of things I’ve been wanting to see together in a fic:

  • The origin story of Fel’rekt Lafeen, the trans male Bregan D’aerthe lieutenant in Waterdeep: Dragon Heist. Since we are told very little about him, there’s a lot of freedom to invent him. Is that what the kids call “free real estate?” 🤣
  • More internality and introspection from Jarlaxle and his band than we see in canon. (Which is to say, any). In particular, I’ve always been interested to see how Jarlaxle would have been affected by Zak’s death, and how Bregan D’aerthe might have suffered as a result.
  • The boys of Bregan D’aerthe (and their leader) getting some well-deserved therapy. I mean, seriously, most of them probably have PTSD in some form, because #TheInherentTraumaOfMenzoberranzan
  • Sad drow boys kissing. And just generally queering the heck out of Faerûn.

And as we all know, we must write the fic we wish to see in the world. So, one transatlantic flight later, here’s chapter one.

Also, necessary disclaimers:

  • Lolthite drow are pretty awful, and we’re in a period where Jarlaxle’s alignment was listed as neutral evil. Many warnings may apply; I’ll tag them as they pop up.
  • I am not trans. I am agender, however, and I like to think I’m at least somewhat aware of trans/enby discourse, and I’ve extensively researched how to sensitively portray trans characters. But please please please let me know if I fuck it up.
  • Yes, therapy is more than just listening. No, I don’t condone unlicensed therapy IRL. But hey, this is Menzoberranzan and it’s the best they’ve got.
  • There will probably not be explicit smut, unless I somehow manage to break decades of precedent. But there will likely be some non-explicit spice.
  • I’m not going to expend too much effort staying compliant to canon. Because fuck R.A. Salvatore, that’s why. He doesn’t deserve his fans. I reject his canon and substitute my own.
  • That said, I have nothing but love for the folks who worked on Dragon Heist, like Chris Perkins or Matt Mercer, as well as Jeremy Crawford, who was the one who came out and said, “yes, Jarlaxle is pan; did the rainbow cape give it away?” I love how they’ve made Forgotten Realms queerer, and I wish RAS hadn’t missed the memo.

Content warnings for this chapter: casual mentions of slavery, fantastic racism, violence and death, mild transphobia (mostly internalized) and deadnaming.

… so about what you would expect from a closeted trans male character trying to survive an evil matriarchy. This chapter will be the worst of it; I don’t want this to be a story of trans suffering.

Just kissing. Always kissing.

End Notes

“What Do You Hear In These Sounds” is the title of a Dar Williams song about the experience of therapy. Yes, this is the second fic I’ve used a Dar Williams song title for; why do you ask? 😆

House Xalyth is a reference to Xalyth’s Company, a merchant clan that specializes in trading gems, led by a matron. It’s mentioned in the Menzoberranzan: City of Intrigue sourcebook.

This time period in Bregan D’aerthe’s history — between Zak’s death and the start of The Legacy of the Drow trilogy — isn’t well developed. I’m honestly not sure who Jarlaxle’s first officers would have been then. I think Kimmuriel — though he works with Jarlaxle as early as the 1010s — didn’t fully become a lieutenant until the fall of his house in 1358. Valas and Rai-guy’s timelines are wibbly-wobbly enough to make it work, so that’s what I decided.

Was Jarlaxle always aware of the circumstances of his birth? Maybe not; just another thing I might know if I could stomach more of RAS’ deathless prose.

As a general rule, any drow words I use will come from here.

In the interest of full disclosure… I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I don’t have an outline. I don’t know how many chapters there will be. (Though it’s gonna cover a period of about 150 years). I don’t know what all pairings there will be (though I do intend to smash Fel’rekt and Jarlaxle together like two Barbie dolls). I don’t know who will find their way to the therapist’s couch. I’m going to try to make chapters semi-standalone, for that reason, because it’s quite likely you’ll be waiting a while between them.

Fanfic Journal: “A Prison Made of Chitin”, chapter 2

Read chapter 2 here

Summary

Test me, Mistress, Kzandr wanted to say. You will not find me wanting. Kzandr discovers his taste for blood, and draws the attention of one of the mistresses of Arach-Tinilith.

Introductory Notes

Content warnings for this chapter: mentions of slavery, incredibly inappropriate teacher/student relationships, power imbalance, and some non-explicit sexual content with dubious consent.

End Notes

Nithrys (briefly mentioned) is my current PC, an aberrant mind sorcerer. He won’t show up much in Chitin, but ideally he’ll get his own multi-chapter fic after I finish this one. 

“Shebali” means “non-noble drow” in the Drow fan dictionary. 

For this, and for all the Drow words that pop up, I use a combination of this Drow Dictionary PDF (which is one part the glossary from 2e’s Drow of the Underdark, one part fan-created), and Chosen of Eilistraee’s Drow Translator (which includes everything from the PDF). I tend to prefer the canon stuff to the fan-created stuff, but there’s only so much one can do with the vocabulary Ed Greenwood gave us!

House Kenafin is one of the two houses that will later merge and become House Melarn, who become major antagonists in the more recent Drizzt novels. They’re definitely the house bringing the religious fanaticism to the party! Kyrnill is actually a minor canon character, named as the matron some years later. 

Vaen’jraa’kah is another PC, a barbarian/ranger. She’ll come up a lot more when we finally get to the actual plot and not just Kzandr backstory.

Ethestra’tana is first priestess of House Vel’bol and… both an NPC and a PC. It’s weird; we’ll get to it! Aksharu, as I mentioned last time, is an NPC, second priestess of the house. 

Kzandr is like 5’2”. Perfectly average for a male drow, but I do enjoy the mental image of him looking Kyrnill directly in the boobs.

The reason I describe this chapter as dubcon is because, even though Kzandr is clearly into Kyrnill’s seduction, he’s also very much in a coercive situation (teacher vs. student, age differences, truth spells used without consent), and in a society where he’s not really free to say no. Pretty much anything involving Kyrnill and Kzandr is going to have this tag. 

Keptolo is described in Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes as the consort of Lolth. He’s basically the minor god of “keeping your sugar mama happy.”

“Orthae Thalack” is fan-Drow for “holy war.” As far as I know there’s no canonical place where drow go to train as paladins, so I created one. 

As far as the mechanics go, Kzandr is an Oath of Conquest paladin. By default, that’s a lawful evil oath, as it’s very much aligned with the devils of the Nine Hells, who hate the chaotic evil demons of the Abyss where Lolth lives. But with DM Bill’s permission, I modified it to be more suitable for a chaotic evil paladin.

I missed writing this bastard. It’s funny to me how I can switch seamlessly between writing Bright Future — which I’d gloss as “a sad drow male learns about love from a manic druid dream girl who doesn’t own a hairbrush” — and this story, which is the Udadrow at their worst. (I literally got back to writing this chapter the day after posting the last chapter of Bright Future).

Anyway! I cherish your feedback, positive or constructive! And your opinion: is Kzandr going to be able to keep Kyrnill happy? What’s his next poor life choice gonna be?

Featured image by Max Muselmann on Unsplash

Fanfic journal: “A Prison Made of Chitin,” chapter 1

Oh no more drow bullshit.

Read “A Prison Made of Chitin,” chapter one, here.

Summary

Kzandr Vel’bol Veldrin is honored to serve as paladin of Lolth, and wants nothing more than to give his life in her service. But when his eldest sister Ethestra’tana is murdered, he finds the carefully-constructed fiction of his life unraveling. Will the mercy of the Spider Queen save him? (Spoiler: it will not).

Introductory Notes

This series — “The Fortunes of House Vel’bol Veldrin” — is the novelization of the ongoing drow intrigue campaign I’m playing in. While the campaign itself is homebrew, it begins in Menzoberranzan in 1325 DR, around the time Drizzt graduated from Melee-Magthere. (Canon characters may occasionally appear). We play members of the 20th house of Menzoberranzan, scheming and murdering their way up the hierarchy of the city.

(“Vel’bol Veldrin” is short for the ancient full name of the House, which basically is “what we do in the shadows” translated into Drow. Oh, we have fun…)

Drow fancier that I am, I had too many character ideas to play just one, so I decided I would play them serially, bringing each character’s arc to a good conclusion. Thus each fic in this series will be primarily the POV of one of my PCs, detailing how they experience the adventure. This work, “A Prison Made of Chitin,” is focused on Kzandr, the elderboy of the house, an Oath of Conquest paladin of Lolth, who in-game I have just managed to kill off in a narratively satisfying way. The first few chapters will be short character history vignettes about Kzandr, and then we’ll go into the adventure itself.

Because (Lolthite) Drow Are Awful ™, this is an evil campaign, and evil shit will happen in this story. In our campaign, we have safety mechanisms in place and have all opted into Some Pretty Dark Shit, though by consensus the darkest shit (torture, sexual violence) is veiled or off-screen. Of course, in this fic, any disturbing content will be tagged appropriately.

Content warnings for this chapter include: child abuse, blood sacrifice, some deep cultural misandry, slavery, and spiders.

Future CW are likely to include: murder (including of children), implied/referenced torture and mutilation, implied/referenced sexual assault, some deeply fucked up and not entirely consensual relationships (because what even is consent in an evil matriarchy??), body horror, transphobia and deadnaming, and probably a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting. I’ll tag them as they come up.

… yes, I do have another campaign novelization going right now, why do you ask? Trust me, I have not forgotten about Mavash and Jorlan and their much, much healthier relationship.

Chapter End Notes

I won’t introduce the PCs yet because you’ve only met Kzandr so far! Aksharu and Zeska are both NPCs — respectively, the second priestess and the Matron Mother.

Darthiir are surface elves.

Your comments are priceless, and constructive criticism is welcome ❤️

The featured image is art of Kzandr I commissioned from iisjah/Natalia Komuniewska

Fanfic journal: “Bright Future, chapter 13”

Read chapter 13 (“Jaluk d’quellar”) here.

Chapter Summary

On the search for the purple worm egg, Mavash and her companions find a troglodyte lair. Jorlan tries to counsel Mavash against trying to save everyone. (Good luck with that).

Chapter End Notes

On my first pass, I honestly didn’t have many end notes for this. I was very tired when I was adding it to AO3, and thus my motivation was low. But then I wrote a little bit about my writing process on Twitter and used this chapter as an example. Lo and behold, I do have stuff to say!

A thread about POV and narrative distance, and how I occasionally remember how to write.

Also worth noting: jaluk d’quellar is a word I cobbled together from the sad excuse for a Drow conlang we have. Jaluk means “male”; qu’ellar means “noble house,” and they’re tied together by the word del, which is “of”, and which is often shortened to de or d’.

I took out the apostrophe in qu’ellar because it seems to be a convention to do so when you stick together multiple words with apostrophes (see: el’lar and qu’ellar. Also just… there is a limit on how many apostrophes I want to stick in a sentence, and jaluk d’qu’ellar hit that limit for me.

(What do apostrophes mean in Drow, anyway? Sometimes they seem to mark a shortening of words, as in English, but other times they’re just… there. Are they a glottal stop? A stress marking? All questions a linguist would have asking in building a consistent conlang, but we don’t have that here. Alas).

Speaking of language conventions, it seems to be a tradition when writing about elves to use “male” and “female” as nouns, instead of “man” or “woman.” Presumably this is because “man” and “woman” have a specifically human connotation. (I think of the Elder Scrolls, with the contrast of “men and mer”).

“Venturing the Uncharted,” a fantastic Baldur’s Gate 2/D&D fanfic I read recently, brought this convention to my attention, and made me think about why I only sometimes follow this convention.

Quite frankly, using “male” and “female” as nouns makes me uncomfortable. It always reminds me of creepy MRA and incel types using “females” as a pejorative; it also equates gender with sex, which I don’t like to do.

Tl;dr, I don’t always do this, and I can’t promise I will start, so please just imagine it’s an infelicity of translation.

By the way, if you haven’t read it yet, I’d like to point you to my essay On making the drow less problematic. I have Opinions on this, as someone who’s been a murder elf fancier since 2e.

In completion of Words in May, day 29.

Words in May, Day 3

Today’s work: I started a new chapter of Bright Future. This one will cover the troglodyte lair in the Wormwrithings, and how mah boi acquired the sword Oloth tlu malla — an event I allude to in the chapter “Siltrin.”

It’s been a while since I played through this part of the campaign, so I am definitely backfilling and embellishing where it seems fun.

Apparently toilet humor seems fun today.

Here’s a snippet:

Hanne had grown more enthusiastic during their travel through the worm tunnels, taking it upon herself to serve as a sort of tour guide. There were the marks left by others of the Dark Hunters on their way towards this tunnel; here the way was lit by nightlight fungus, and did they know that? (They did). She even stopped to point out a pile of worm scat that might be searched through for diamonds. (Mavash declined).

Lux turned with a goofy smile to Jorlan. “I wonder if you were revivified with a poop diamond.”

“Don’t worry, Jorlan, Gaulir’s diamonds are certified poop-free.” Mavash elbowed him in the ribs as she passed him in the tunnel; he had stopped, looking thoughtfully back at the pile of scat Hanne had pointed out. “That juice is definitely not worth the squeeze, as we say on the surface.”

Jorlan returned his attention to the group with a scowl. “Thank you for that delightful mental image. No, I was just wondering…” He glanced over his shoulder again, looking like someone was about to put a knife in his back. “Hanne, how long ago would you say that worm passed through here?”

The young hunter was busy scoring the wall of the tunnel with a blade — her own trail of breadcrumbs, Mavash figured. “Ten days, maybe? But this is an old tunnel.”

Jorlan adjusted his pack on his back and fell into line behind Mavash. “Suppose one of these worms came barreling down the tunnels while we were in it…”

Hanne turned back, her lips twisting in a mischievous look. “Suppose it didn’t.”

Fanfic journal: “Bright Future, chapter 12

Read chapter 12 (“Abban”) here.

(Yes, I’ve already had a chapter 12. That damn chapter “Siltrin” is still a bit ahead of this. So this is the new chapter 12. For now. Just go with it).

Chapter Summary

Mavash and company enter the Wormwrithings on the hunt for a purple worm egg. When they meet another exile of the drow, Jorlan is tasked with easing some of her cultural suspiciousness — and maybe his own, in the bargain.

Chapter End Notes

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since my last chapter, we actually finished our campaign. Let me assure you, it was a satisfying ending to the campaign, and it brought tears to my eyes. But… I still miss Mavash and Jorlan <3

Random notes:

  • “Abban” is the Drow word for “ally” or “not-enemy.”
  • When I began writing this fic, I did not realize that 5e darkvision is not the same as the infravision of 2e — it’s only intended as low-light vision. I’m not sure why it’s not infravision any more; so many aspects of drow culture only make sense if they can see into the heat spectrum. So my final call is that my drow (and all elves, really) have infravision. Please excuse any inconsistencies on this account.
  • Huh, looking up this chapter in the adventure, I realize that Zhora and Hanne are not supposed to be Eilistraeean renegades, as written. I definitely think this makes it more interesting!

(Written for Words in May, day two)